She's JV to your varsity
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
