I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
