i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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