got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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