hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
