i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
