Duck Duck Cougar?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
