Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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