You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
