We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
