home. puking in laundry basket.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
