i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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