She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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