Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
