She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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