I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
