Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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