I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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