so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
This is not my ceiling
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
