We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
