so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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