'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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