so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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