"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Randomize