if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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