so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
