Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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