So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize