Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
