Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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