the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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