I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
