Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
