The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
