She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
