My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
