watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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