i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
