I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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