Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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