There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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