if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
