i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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