did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
