Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i dont even know how to be here
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
