And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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