Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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