The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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