im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
false alarm. still invincible.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize