I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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