grandma shit on top of the toilet
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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