so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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