Don't you send me to vm
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
