Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
