If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
