I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
