Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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