I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We're too hungover to prance.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
